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"What Love
is and what love is not"
"Dear God, Teach me to laugh again, but never let me forget I
cried......"
Lessons Learned About Love!
What Love Is
Peaceful, Gentle & Kind!
• True love rests the heart from turmoil, finds the heart relaxed and
happy and provides warmth and peace to the soul.
Humble
• True love is humbled love. Humble people make the best mates! Their own
humility is the foundation for their ability to love.
Honest & Truthful!
• True love is wanting to be honest at all times! This is the only way
true love survives. Honesty builds trust. Trust is the backbone to a good
marriage! Without trust you cannot let yourself be yourself. If trust
fails, everything can fall apart.
Unselfish
• True Love is a "giver". Each partner realizes the needs of one another,
and wants to give it to each other. Unselfish partners know they must love
each other just as Christ loved the church,.....with a servant attitude.
Enduring
• True loves pledges themself to one another for life! This is the only
way God intended marriage. There is no excuse good enough to betray the
"love" that God is blessing you with. Fidelity is the only way to
strengthen the trust that is necessary to build a marriage year after
year!
Encouraging!
• True love for another always wants what is best. Jealousy or envy does
not enter into the heart because true love cares only to see the other be
the best they can be!
Patient
• True love is never hurried, always takes the time to see through every
situation. True love waits for each other, no matter what, for what ever,
and........whenever.
Back
What Love is Not.
(What the "World" wants you to believe LOVE IS SEX!)
• True love is NOT based on sexual love. Many people confuse LOVE with
sex, and this is a very sad situation. Those who are engaged in premarital
sex will not be able to distinguish "true love" when their emotions are
all tied up with sexual love. Sex is a gift from God reserved strictly for
marriage! Likewise, those who want to marry just to fulfill a sexual need
are always disappointed! Many married couples with children find very
little time for intimacy, especially during the early childhood years. If
your relationship is based on sex before and/or after marriage, you can be
sure problems will arise! True love combined with sexual love between two
married people is a wonderful gift from God, important to the oneness of
the relationship, but NOT the end all to "married life"! If you take one
thing from this site to your heart, it is our sincerest hope you will hear
this message. Marriage is so much more than "SEX"! Making this your
priority or basing your marriage on this will ALWAYS lead to heartache.
Keep sex in perspective as to what God has intended it to be! Otherwise,
you will find yourself never satisfied.....and the result is devastating!
What You See!
• True love is NOT found on the outside! You know the old story...."You
can't judge a good book by its cover!". Marrying someone because they are
"good looking" and that reflects well on you, will not bring you
happiness! True love looks at people from the inside, this is where "true
beauty" lies, make no mistake about this one! People who "seem" average on
the outside become above average when you get to know the real person that
lives inside. There are many, many single people who would make fabulous
mates, but are overlooked because they won't make the cover of your
favorite magazine. Being outwardly focused will always lead to heartache!
The message here is that true Love rests deep inside within the heart,
NEVER on the outside! We must turn our eyes inward when seeking a lifetime
mate!
What you don't see.......is exactly what you get!!
Rescuing!
• True love is NOT ruining your life because someone has a problem.
Everyone is responsible for their own life, actions and decisions. If
someone's decisions in life is making you "crazy" or you are trying to
control their behavior, you are more than likely hurting them and
yourself. True love can only lie in the person who takes care of
themselves. Are you putting your life and happiness in jeopardy because of
someone else's bad behavior? If your considering marriage and you are
presently unhappy, controlling, enabling, or pushing aside someone's bad
behavior, you will find yourself in a world of misery! It is NOT LOVE to
"rescue" someone from their own decisions!!! Everyone must pay their own
consequences for their own actions! You cannot "save" someone from
themselves.
Selfish!
• True love is NOT selfish! Selfish people make miserable mates! True love
finds itself in unselfish people. Unselfish people know they get the most
joy out of life when they give to others. There is no better joy in this
world than to give. Selfish people care only about themselves and what
they have and want. Meeting each others needs is so very important in a
healthy marriage. Selfish people will find it impossible to give you what
YOU may need because their needs will always come first!
Back
Monetary!
• True love is NOT measured in dollars! No amount of money in the world
will bring you true love! The love of money is the "root of all evil!"
Money makes people do things that they would not normally do. If you think
you have to marry money find love and to have a good marriage and/or your
problems will go away, you are sadly mistaken! Problems just get more
expensive with money!
Low Self Worth!
• True love is NOT found in an unhealthy self esteem! How many people in
this world believe that love will make them happy! If you are not happy
now, no one else can bring that to you! You need to find your own love in
yourself before you can adequately love anyone else. There is a terrible
fairly tale out there that says "just find a man/woman" then, you'll be
happy. Happy marriages are found in two people who already love and care
about who they are now. They are not looking for a partner to "prove" they
are loveable. Likewise, when you feel inside that you are worthy....you
will make better choices. People who are hurting and feel unloved
sometimes will turn to the first person to come along to fill the
emptiness they feel. More than likely this will not result in a healthy
marriage. If you find yourself in this situation you need to step back
from relationships and work deep inside yourself to find the root cause of
your unhappiness. Until then,....you will not be able to make the best
choice you deserve to make for yourself!
Verbally or Physically Abusive!
• True love is NOT abusive! Without a doubt, any type of abusive behavior
by either person is NOT LOVE! Love is the gentleness of the human heart!
Love does not bear pain. Intentional pain inflicted "out of Love" is as
far away from the truth you can get. Love builds up, never tears down!
Verbal or physical abuse is an illness regardless of the reason someone
may give for inflicting it. This type of behavior is never a candidate for
marriage. ANY type of abuse before marriage is a guarantee to continue
when married. Counseling for the abuser is the ONLY next step there is!
Where is the Love in your life today? If you are ever in doubt as to
whether you have found "true love"......check it out in 1 Corinthians 13.
Here you will find God's view of Love, after all, He is the author of
Love!
If you are not married, please, please take the time to make a good choice
in a lifetime mate. Your life and everyone around you will be affected by
this choice. Making the "right choice" for yourself requires one to look
objectively at oneself and the person they intend to marry. If you have
ever said to yourself, "well, I can always divorce"!, Stop now and
re-examine your choice! You should consider a mate to be that for life!
Consider that divorce is not permitted! God hates divorce, and for good
reason. The devastation lasts a lifetime and more generations to come!
Everyone deserves to be happy. God wants you to be happy. Take the time to
find a good mate for yourself. Allow God to work in you and in someone
else so that the two can one day be joined into the perfect union that the
Father wants for you. You will NEVER REGRET waiting when you find the
"RIGHT ONE"!
And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the
greatest of these is Love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
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